I was in San Marcos La Laguna, the spiritual capital of Central America, participating in my fifth ever yoga class. My yoga teacher, who had been in Guatemala for two months practicing Tai Chi, was an expert. The class was supposedly for beginners. I was definitely a beginner. Maybe my teacher got confused. Or maybe I'm just that inflexible and uncoordinated. But during my 9am yoga class for beginners, I don't think my mind just drifted out of my body. I'm fairly certain that it ran full speed straight the hell out of that place, giving my muscles the finger in a "See ya later, suckers!" sort of jerk move.
It's funny how every bone in your body can be shaking for an hour and a half straight, your lungs gasping between ribs twisted around each other, your hips pressing into tissues that you didn't know were there, and yet you can be so at peace. Maybe this is the effect of the mind having hopped on the next train to California. The empty body that doesn't register pain as pain or loss of breath as an emergency. A mosaic of organs that simply exists through the seconds and minutes and hours, that breaths the air and listens to the wind but doesn't feel the cold as it licks at the skin. A body that collapses on the mat after 90 minutes have passed, a body that has finished its job and would rather just stay right here and not get up for the rest of eternity, thank you very much.
My mind didn't return until my yoga teacher asked me to retrieve it. It took some seconds of searching and then some seconds of getting it to stick back on. Maybe this was how Peter Pan felt as he chased his shadow. But Wendy wasn't here to sew me up and send me on my way. Finally, I felt that my mind had attached itself to where it belonged. To this heavy and awkward, food-consuming, air-sucking body. For a second, I was completely conscious of myself. I said to my mind (or my mind said to me), let's leave! Let's leave this piece of cargo behind and fly to the Bahamas! Or we can just float across the ocean forever and watch the seagulls dive--oh, what a life we have ahead of us! And I said yes, let's go! And I prepared to follow my spirit to the edge of the world and back again.
As my mind took its first step, my foot tensed. When it turned its head, my neck flexed. Now my fingers were wiggling and I was crinkling my nose and ruffling my forehead and wondering what was happening. And then I felt a rush of understanding.
I wasn't going anywhere without this piece of cargo. I wasn't going to fly above oceans and leave my body resting on the yoga mat in San Marcos. Instead, I lifted my hand and put it on my chest. I felt my body's weight against the ground as Earth's gravity heald me in one piece. A network of roots held me firm against the ground, made stable each step, cradled my resting head. I was ready to follow my spirit to the edge of the world and back again. And I had feet to do it.
I'm glad it's back--my mind. I need it, and I'm beginning to think that it needs me too. But I encourage each of you, if ever you're presented with a similar opportunity to push your body and mind to its limits, do it. And see where each ends up.
No comments:
Post a Comment